No request for help? Probably due to lack of intent.

Today I was reading up on industry executives and thought leaders and again came across a post on Inc that was simple yet informative.

The article lists a set of questions "extraordinary people" ask everyday of their colleagues, friends and family. One, rather critical question, if absent can explain why things aren't improving.

The question I'm referring too is "Can you help me?"

This question, from a manager to direct reports, is extremely revealing. As the article discusses it demonstrates comfort with vulnerability.

The question, or lack thereof, also demonstrates a more important concept - intent. And I mean intent to improve. Intent to be better. Intent to serve the organization.

Without intent the request for help will be absent.

And it follows that feedback, no matter how constructive or comprehensive, is likely to be ignored.

So when you reflect on the feedback you've provided and then become puzzled by the lack of activity or movement in a better direction, ask yourself, "Were they really asking for it in the first place?" If they weren't really asking for help, should you be surprised that they aren't motivated to act on your feedback?

Probably not.

The Inc article.